My 4 Steps to Move From Perfection Paralysis to Progress
“Up until recently, I was a hard-core and hard-wired perfectionist.”
My perfectionism showed up in every facet of my life.
From rarely leaving the house without being fully groomed to within an inch of my life, to always needing to nail that work presentation, to not asking for help when I needed it and not engaging in anything that I didn’t know ahead of time that I would be good at.
Like many of you perhaps, I carried the weight of internal expectation to be perfect day after day.
It was exhausting.
And over time, I realized that my perfectionism was holding me back and keeping me safe, sure, but also keeping me small.
“I had so much that I wanted to do. And say, And be.”
But I kept putting off my hopes and dreams because I was scared of failing. And failure to a perfectionist is a complete NO - NO. We just avoid that possibility completely.
Again, I’m sure like many of you, I hit a point when I realized something so stark, it made me sit up and pay attention.
“I wasn’t prepared to look back & regret not doing the things I believed were important.”
The single most important thing for me at the time, & for a long time, was to set up my coaching business.
I had been coaching for years - leaders and leadership teams in my corporate job as well as informally coaching friends and family through various life ups and downs. I knew that I was good at what I did and I knew I wanted to work with more people, in my own way.
But taking the leap to starting my business always felt too big; too scary; too risky.
I told myself things like:
‘You’re not ready yet’.
‘You’re not quite expert enough’.
‘If you’re not a perfect expert, who’s going to want to listen to you’?
“The perfectionist within insidiously made excuse after excuse.”
And it resulted in me wishing and hoping and procrastinating beyond belief but not actually doing anything to make it happen.
What happened between then and now, I hear you ask?!
Well, I really took to heart and mind, the belief of Progress over Perfection.
Progress, even the smallest, tiniest step is more helpful in achieving whatever it is that you want than perfectionism and procrastination will ever be.
“From perfection paralysis to progress”
So, I want to share with you, the 4 steps that took me from Perfection Paralysis to Progress.
I would love to know what you think if you give this a try!
1) ACKNOWLEDGE
Awareness of whatever it is that’s holding you back is key to this process. So many people aren’t even aware of what beliefs or stories they are telling themselves which might be holding them back in all sorts of ways.
Once you’re aware and can acknowledge the perfectionism, the fear, the self doubt, then you can find a way to work with it rather than it working against you.
2) ACCEPT
Too often we beat ourselves up over the things we don’t like about ourselves. I was stuck here for a long time. Aware that my perfectionism was getting in my way and berating myself for it at the same time.
It was only when I began to, at first grudgingly and then over time, lovingly come to accept the perfectionism as a part of me, I realized just how many times it had served me. There were parts of my perfectionism I really liked and actually got a lot of joy from (for example, I love being house proud and having my home look perfect for guests).
3) AFFIRM NEW BELIEF
So it wasn’t a case that I had to completely beat the perfectionism out of me. I just needed to dial it down at certain times. And I did that by programming in my new belief, when it came to starting my business, of ‘progress over perfection’.
I would say this to myself all the time, especially when I noticed myself slipping back into procrastination or perfection paralysis. I wrote it on post-it notes and stuck them on my laptop! I started telling friends that I was focusing on progress over perfection and it even became something I was known for saying at work!
When you’re programming in a new belief, repetition is key! So whatever works for you, do what you need to get that new belief wired in!
4) ACTION
“Nothing changes if nothing changes.”
It’s brutally simple yet true that ‘nothing changes if nothing changes’. You can acknowledge, accept and affirm until the cows come home, but change also requires action at the end of the day. Action can be hard, especially when your goals are big and lofty, and often you don’t even know where to start. My best tip is to start small.
What’s the ONE THING you can do today that will help you move towards your goal?
Science tells us that successfully completing that one thing (even if it’s the teeniest, tiny step) gives us the motivation to continue onward. Start small, feel the progress building and enjoy the benefits of continued motivation!
The small steps I began taking in 2020, have led me here. Launching a business I am so proud to call my own and knowing that I’m building a life that feels purposeful, aligned and frankly, good for my soul! Step by step, day by day, progress over perfection has led me here. And I couldn’t be more grateful.
For anyone navigating their own perfectionist tendencies, I’ll leave you with another of my favourite quotes as some parting inspiration
“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
